Last week the blog went crazy. It happens now and then….and it always scares the heck out of me. I mean, it’s exciting and fun to know that so many people enjoyed what was written enough to share it with their friends and family, posting it to their Facebook, Tweeting it across the universe, as I watch the stats from the blog climbing by the second. This is both thrilling and daunting. What in the name of God’s green earth do your write about the following week that could possibly compare? Will I disappoint my readers? How do I come up with something fresh to say that speaks to more than just a small circle of friends and family, but to everyone that stops by each week to check out what I’m rambling about this time?
There’s nothing about this blog that is more special than any other yoga blog. I am merely a yoga teacher and there are a ton of us out there. But for some reason each week I am compelled to write out my thoughts and share them with all of you. Maybe it’s a way to be clear about my life right now, as well as, my life before. Maybe I feel that there is more to say than can be said within the 90-minutes of the structured Bikram Yoga class. All I know is that I have more to give and, therefore, I am led to write.
When I was at Teacher Training back in 2011, at one of our many posture clinics in which we are asked to deliver the Dialogue for a certain posture in front of current teachers and fellow trainees I once had a teacher running the clinic say to me, “The way you deliver the Dialogue makes me think you will give too much to your students. Be careful. Keep something for yourself.”
I smiled and thanked her for her feedback, but honestly I still have no idea what she was talking about. I give what I can. I am passionate about this yoga and passionate about teaching it, so I give everything I can to it without analyzing if it’s too much. I’m simply trying to be myself as authentically as possible and not get caught up in how I am perceived or what people will say about me. And what I have learned more than anything else through the years is that the more you give of yourself in the service of others, the more you will receive, leading to a life that is far more fulfilling than if I was consciously holding something back to keep for myself.
Though I must admit there are times when I wonder if I am enough. Can I keep it all together and be who I need to be? Is being merely me enough? When I sit quietly with myself and ask for the answers it comes boldly and quickly – of course I am. We are all enough. We have enough inside of us to live that life that’s been knocking on our door since we first realized we had choices. Those dreams you locked away, thinking they were for other people and not you, are ready to be chased. What if you took that leap of faith and decided to be who you were meant to be? What does that look like?
Let there be no doubt in your mind – you were meant for great things and you have a unique set of talents that you are blessed with that were intended to be given away freely and with abandon to make this world a better place. Go for it. If you are drawn to write, simply write. If you are drawn to lead, lead. If you are drawn to draw, sing, crunch numbers, give care to others, research, or teach then find a way to make it happen for you.
I had a student give me an incredible gift one day – a sticker for the water bottle that I use in class that states, “I am unstoppable.” Believe me there are days where I struggle both in and outside of the hot room, but catch this sentiment blaring at me from the side of the bottle that leads me to think, “Someone out there thinks I am unstoppable. Keep going,” and it always works. I make it through class, I make it through the day, and I’m still smiling and enjoying life. You are unstoppable too. Know that I am sitting here believing that for you even if you don’t believe it yet for yourself. You know when you first started practicing and making it through a 90-minute class, simply staying in the room, seemed impossible? Look at you now. You have achieved so much and so quickly. The yoga teaches you that. It teaches you that you have more inside you than you think. It teaches you that you (yes you!) are unstoppable.
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