I admit I often walk away from a conversation or situation and question every move that I made. Did I say the right thing? Will the person listening take my words and actions the way they were intended? Was I too much? Was I too little?
It can be exhausting. Why all of this anxiety? I have worked pretty hard up to this point in my life to make sure I’m being as authentic as possible. I want to have the freedom to be me and not worry about whether “me” is acceptable or not. Yet sometimes this thought pattern creeps in. This leads to little sleep, being quieter than I’d like to be, and distancing myself from people instead of getting to know them better.
I think most people want to be liked and thought of as a good person. No one wakes up and thinks, “Can’t wait to be a big ol’ jerk today!” with enthusiasm and then gets right on annoying and irritating every person they come in contact with. I believe that everyone is ultimately doing their best. Their best can vary from day to day.
What I have come to realize is that when I have a ton of those good-lord-they-think-I’m-a-total-b!?#ch feelings day after day and am always wondering if my words and actions are being received correctly, is that I am probably hanging with the wrong group of people. I want to be around people that won’t judge my one sentence, or wardrobe choice, or story that I told, as if it is a character flaw. Instead, I would rather that they know I am doing my best and trying to have some fun along the way.
Sometimes you can change the people you surround yourself with and sometimes you can’t. Every person is in your life is there for a reason. It might be to show you to do some things you are working on correctly or to be a shining example of how you may not want to choose to live your life. Meet people where they are and try to lift them up, or at least leave them be.
But how do you right your crazy mind so that you are attracting the right situations and people into your life? Here are a few tools I use when I feel I went off track:
Meditate. I can’t say it enough people! When your mind is totally crazy it seems silly to sit down and wallow in its every mad idea and thought, but it’s actually what you need the most. If you learn to sit for even 5 minutes a day you will learn how the crazy anxiety filled thoughts slowly burn off like the fumes from a funky yoga mat set in the sunshine. It simply can’t exist within the silence, within the light.
Yoga, yoga, yoga. Yoga brings us into the present moment by teaching us to focus on our breath, our heart beat, on our every cell. Throughout the years I have stepped on my mat with a world full of problems to find that at the end of a session I have the answer I’m looking for or that the problem really didn’t exist to begin with, but was drama I had made up, a story I was telling myself and not the truth. Get on your mat and find your Self and your Truth.
Get busy. I know you thought I’d tell you to slow down, but that tends to make me anxious in a new way. Yes, relax when you can – I’m not saying that. When I am anxious or worried about the small things in life I know my focus is off. I should be concentrating on my contribution to the world – whether it be a blog post, the next class I teach, or working on the latest writing assignment. Working on the activities we enjoy the most takes us out of the drama playing around in our head. We only have so much time on the planet, use it working towards something that will be remembered because it was done with love, passion, and enthusiasm.
I put my big girl pants on. Sometimes you have to apologize or at least check in with someone if there is weird energy there. This is not easy to do. They might say you did offend them in some way. Apologize if you need to. If you hurt someone’s feelings, they’re right. They are their feelings.
Maybe this helps, maybe it doesn’t. It’s the way I see the world when the small stuff starts to seem big. How do you cope yogis? What are your go to anti-anxiety, shake off the worries activities?
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